Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
