The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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