I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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