i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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