is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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