I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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