i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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