She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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