Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
