I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
