Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize