who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
