The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
