I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
