i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
