Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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