is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
