No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize