she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
