just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize