I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
