I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
