Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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