we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
