i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
