Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
