idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize