so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
