she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
