I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
