i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
