therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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