I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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