Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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