my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
