It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize