Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
