i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
