I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
