I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
