He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
