Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
