if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
