I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
