theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
