Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
