Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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