I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
