My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
