I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
