I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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