Since when is my name a synonym for head?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
