i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
