I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dick very happy bro
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
