Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize