He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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