Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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