Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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