Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
