That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
