Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
